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Born in the Bubble! (FYI – this post is rated PG13)

by damien on April 16, 2009

Born in the Bubble

Born in the Bubble


There are many myths about Utah that one hears in the world.  There’s the “every man has five wives” and there’s “Utah has more weddings than any place in America” and of course I can’t forget “most kids in high school are married before they graduate”.  Now these myths are exactly that… myths.  OK, there are some guys who have five wives, but it is not the norm.  Then there’s the wedding thing, but wrong again because Texas has more weddings every year than any other state.  Oh and the thing about most high school kids being married.  WRONG.  It’s college kids OK!

There is one thing that Utah can claim and it is not what you were thinking… people in Utah are getting some!  Oh yeah… I mean exactly what you think.  People in Utah have proof they are really getting the lovin’.  The hot sauce is being poured all over the state and we have proof.  I’m not talking about your pal James who claims he is getting the forbidden fruit (I couldn’t help myself)… come on… you know he’s probably lying about most of his crazy affairs.  So is your gal pal Jenny.  Liars.  But us folk in Utah… we have serious proof.

We have kids.  And we have more kids than anyone else in the country.  In fact according to a Deseret News article in August of 2008 women in Utah are having babies at a rate that blows the national average away!  While the rest of the country averages 1 in 18 women who can… and do… Utah’s average of ladies who do is 1 in 12!

In fact, according to the Deseret News article, in 2006 Utah’s birth rate was higher than Mexico’s!  Oh yeah baby!

And before you go there let me also tell you that Utah ranked dead last in teen births and thus we kill another myth!  Now the next time any of my Utah brothers are hanging in the backyard having a bar-b-cue and some guy from Cali is talkin smack about being a playa all you need to do is say, “Hey kids”, and when your ten kids come walking outside to ask you what you need, you just look at that dude and say, “Who’s a playa now fool?”

Now we haven’t forgotten you beautiful and wonderful moms.  You do the hard part and to pay homage to your amazing efforts we at the Bubble asked our creative director Tovey to come up with a t-shirt that celebrates your labors (again I just couldn’t help it).

I give you “Born in the Bubble”.  A celebration of life and birth in Utah!  And yes it will be available on t-shirts, tank-tops and onesies soon… and probably in maternity too :)

And to all Utahns keep the babies coming… cause the Utah Bubble is always looking for new fans like you!

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Dave April 17, 2009 at 10:59 pm

I guess I’m a playa! I never thought of it that way, but I think I like it!

2 Ashley April 20, 2009 at 1:23 pm

I don’t know about the rating. I think this should be rated R! I think only some of us know how that fetus got there!

3 Utah Bubble April 22, 2009 at 11:56 pm

;)

4 Chris Voss April 23, 2009 at 5:02 pm

How come theres only one kid in the bubble – shouldnt it be like 10 kids? LOL.

5 Anna May 1, 2009 at 7:56 am

ROFLOL

6 Nathan Peterson May 2, 2009 at 7:46 pm

I wish I could make fun of this but unfortunately I too was born in Utah. AAAHHHHHH

7 Nathan Peterson May 2, 2009 at 7:47 pm

I guess I should clarify that I moved out on day 2. Thanks to all of you that stayed. You’ve provided many interesting conversation starters :)

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